Another birthday has come and gone.

With my birthday a week before Christmas and two weeks before New Year’s Day, I’ve always treated this day as part of my trifecta of getting ready for the upcoming year. I’ve pretty much used it to look forward towards another year. I’ve always considered my birthday as the start of the next year, not the end of the prior year. It’s part of my plan to live to at least 100. I don’t know if that’s what God has in store for me, but I’m going to do what I can to get there. At least that’s my idea, although my execution is sometimes suspect.

This year I did something different. In part it’s because we spent almost 12 hours on my birthday driving from San Antonio, TX back to Kansas. In part it’s because it made sense to me. Enough things changed this past year that it felt right to reflect on them a little bit. I’m not really good about reflecting on New Year’s Eve, and certainly don’t do that on Christmas. We spend some time as a family reminiscing about those things we’re thankful for on Thanksgiving, Because it’s Thanksgiving we look at all the positive things that have happened…as you would expect. But for that same reason, I don’t tend to look back at the learning experiences that I’m not exactly thankful for.

But 12 hours in a van causes you to think about things that you wouldn’t normally consider. And 12 hours on a trip that should have taken under 10 also tends to cause greater introspection than might have occurred otherwise.

Let me explain…

We traveled from Kansas to San Antonio to watch my oldest son graduate from the U.S. Army’s Advanced Individual Training (AIT) as a Combat Medic. I spent a great deal of time looking forward to the trip. Much of that time was spent planning the travel. While I religiously use a GPS, I also pre-game with Google Maps and other online resources. I check weather and road conditions. I investigate traffic patterns and make every effort to avoid big cities during their rush hours. I plan, then plan some more, then have a nightcap of planning to top it all off. Needless to say, I know our travel plans inside and out.

We sailed to San Antonio, traveling on Interstate 35 almost the entire route. It was a straight shot, made that much easier because it’s one of the interstate highways that we’ve traveled a lot. We used to drive the Dallas to Kansas to Dallas route every weekend when we lived outside Dallas. Heck, I can tell you the exits where the good gas stations are, and what exits to avoid because of subpar highway on ramps. Despite the fact that our weekly travels were 25 years ago, not much has changed.

We got to San Antonio and had a great visit. Our son graduated as the First Sergeant of his Company. He was in great spirits, was well respected by peers and instructors, and has certainly found his calling. He’s ready for a life in the Army, although he’ll detour through college for four years before going active duty.

The only wrinkle in our plan for the week was that the U.S. Army had decided that he was to be flown back to Kansas instead of riding back with us in the van. It was a slight hassle, especially since he was slated to arrive about five hours faster than we could make the drive from San Antonio to his destination airport. But we’re used to living with the Army’s foibles, so we were all prepared to make the best of it.

After graduation, we had the opportunity to all have lunch together. It was a great meal, and the first time he was really able to relax since last June when he arrived at Basic Training. Afterwards, we drove him to the airport. We then set the GPS for home and headed out of town.

It’s been 28 years since I was in San Antonio, so a lot has changed. It’s a city that has grown astronomically in that time. It’s also a Texas city, so the roads don’t make a lot of logical sense. Old cow paths that became thoroughfares, farm to market roads, and interstates all intermingle to entwine and circumnavigate the city. Frankly, without the GPS I was bound to get lost within the city limits. All I knew was that if we got on Interstate 35 and aimed the headlights North we’d be pointed in the right direction. But I had to get to I-35 first, so I placed my trust in the GPS. I failed to use the trust but verify mantra that I so often espouse.

It seemed a bit odd that the GPS had us on U.S. 281, but I trusted that the GPS knew something I didn’t. That was a big mistake.

After driving in stop-and-go traffic, on a sometimes four-lane, oftentimes two-lane road, with frequent stoplights…I was a bit frustrated. I began to question the directions from the GPS. I even investigated what it would take to get over to I-35, but the GPS kept telling me that it would add an hour to our trip, no matter when I made the decision to make the change. So I stayed the course.

After five hours of driving, we were still six to seven hours from home. It was really frustrating, but I continued to trust in the GPS technology, and opted to believe that the GPS was smarter than I was. I resigned myself to the fact that we were going to be on the road for 12 hours. I was frustrated, but what can you do?

Then we got a call from our son, telling us that his flight from Dallas was overbooked, and he had given up his seat to an elderly gentleman. On the one hand, I was so proud that he’d done that. Despite his desire to get home to see the family after 25 weeks of Army training, hardships, and stress…he saw that someone had greater needs than he had, and relinquished his seat on the plane. On the other hand, I was frustrated that if we’d been driving on I-35 instead of U.S. 281, we would have been minutes from the airport. We could have just picked him up and he could have driven the rest of the way home with us.

But as things stood, we were 80 miles West of the airport. After a short discussion, we concluded that we shouldn’t detour to get him. He’d be on a plane the next morning, so it would just be a few hours until we saw him. That decision was big mistake number two.

So we continued to plod along. As we drove further and further into the night, on that God-forsaken two-lane road, my mind began to recap the prior year. Oddly, the issues with the GPS were a pretty good metaphor for this past year. I started out with what I thought were very clear goals for what I wanted to accomplish. I even wrote some of them down. In fact, I wrote several of them down, since writing out my goals has always led to better accomplishment of those goals. I even assessed where I was for the first few weeks of the year.

Then a funny thing happened, and life got in the way. With our twins in their final year of college, they were both fretting over where they would begin their post-graduate journeys. Our oldest son had solidified his plans as a Senior in high school, but we were still waiting to hear what the Army had in store for him during the Summer. My assumption was that he would attend Basic Training and then continue on to college in the Fall. I had hopes that both twin daughters would find jobs or graduate schools and know exactly what they were doing when their graduations rolled around. Our oldest daughter was establishing herself in her new job in New Jersey, and things looked like they had finally turned around for her.

All in all, life seemed to be moving in several positive directions at once. My health was even cooperating, and I was able to workout as much as I wanted. I even had designs on possibly running my first marathon in 2013. I’d run three half-marathons previously, and I figured 2014 was the year to take the next step.

Of course, if you’ve read my blog posts throughout the year, you know that the first couple of months were absolutely no indication of what the rest of the year would bring. Both of the twins graduated without firm plans for post-graduate work. They both moved back home in a whirlwind of activity. Our oldest son was not only destined for Basic Training, but the Army decided to send him to AIT for 16 weeks starting in August, meaning no college enrollment in the Fall. Our oldest daughter decided to alter her career path, and she and her son (our first grandchild!) moved back to Kansas. And I had trouble remaining healthy and injury-free for the better part of the year.

In the midst of all that, I completed the Bike Across Kansas. 555 miles of biking in just over a week. It was a great week of riding, commiserating, and enjoying the time with our younger twin daughter. It was grueling, but we both seemed better for it.

I made my first trip to New York City. Then made several more. I learned how to use public transportation in one of the busiest cities in the world. I figured out how to use my phone to navigate throughout New York.

One of my daughters and I drove from Kansas to Maine so she could return to school. Two weeks later (after competing in a sprint triathlon in Kansas), I helped my oldest daughter move from New Jersey to Kansas…effectively traveling most of the Kansas-Maine route in reverse.

I attended two college graduations, one high school graduation, one basic training graduation, and an AIT graduation. I had enough pomp and circumstance to fill a lifetime. My pride in the kids’ accomplishments was unmeasurable. My concerns over their futures was equally immense. I kept weighing one against the other…but never really figured anything out.

I got to meet my grandson. Then I got to spend a few days with him. Now I spend the vast majority of my waking hours with him…and I love every minute.

Both recent college graduates found jobs that suit them perfectly. While they’re hours and hours away and I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like, they have found career paths that are ideal for each of them. Dramatically different career paths, but no more different than they are.

Our oldest daughter has settled here in Central Kansas, and she seems to really be blossoming. Her adventures in the New York area have prepared her for success here, and it’s great to see her smiling and laughing with the family. Her son is the central point of most of our household activity. He’s a bundle of energy, giggles, and inquisitiveness.

Overall, things were mostly positive this past year. And frankly, the not-so-positive events provided me with great opportunities to learn more about myself. Without all the things that happened this past year, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

So as I sat there in the van, driving on that hilly, winding two-lane highway through Central Texas, following the directions of a GPS that I didn’t really trust, I realized that sometimes all the prior planning in the world cannot prepare you for life’s journey. All the preparation for the path you planned to take cannot prepare you for the path you actually take. I looked back at the twists, turns, detours, and backtracking during the prior year and I realized I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I didn’t expect to be here, and I’m still a bit unsure of where I’m going, but I’m firmly convinced that I’m headed somewhere.

This coming year, I’m going to work on making things happen. I’m going to concentrate on understanding what my bigger goals are. I’m going to strive to understand where I should be going, rather than where I might be going. Then I’m going to trust my life’s GPS to get me there. Of course, I’ll continue to trust but verify along the way.