Whenever you start something, you’re not going to be an expert. That’s the kind of dumb advice that I give my kids all the time. They don’t listen to me any more than I listened to my Dad when he gave me similar advice. And he didn’t listen to his Dad either. It’s kind of a genetic thing. We work so hard at being great, that sometimes we forget that at some point, we were rank amateurs. Things that we’re expert at now were really hard when we started. It doesn’t matter if it’s a physical chore, a mental task, or anything else…there was a time when we first started that we sucked at it.

So what’s the big deal. That’s life. You start something and you either quit…or you get better. And quitting just isn’t in my nature. In fact, it’s kind of weird, but apparently I’m willing to suck at something a lot longer than most people. I’d never really thought about it until I heard an episode of the now dormant Crazy Dad Life podcast by my friend Jeff Stephens. It was really an expansion on a blog post he wrote titled 10 Ways I Suck at Being an Entrepreneur.

While Jeff concentrated on the business aspects of his life, I took it a step further and started to think about what it means to suck at something in my daily life. After a lot of introspection, I realized that I don’t just accept the fact that I suck at things for a while. I Embrace the Suck. I actually revel in the learning phase of things. I love to try new things out, and I’m willing to stick with them. Sometimes much longer than is reasonable. It’s a typical case of the journey is the reward, as Steve Jobs was fond of saying. There are going to be ups and downs in learning anything, and when I embrace that, then I have the will to stick with a learning process until I get good at it. Heck, sometimes really good.

As a parent or grandparent, if you’re able to embrace the suck and let go of the fact that you’re not good at something, you can go a long way. You can learn with your kids. Let them see you being a newbie. Show them that it’s OK not to be the best at something right away. Teach them that a big part of success is just showing up. Day in and day out. There are far too many people out there that purport to be experts, and will never show you the fact that they’re weren’t always so. Your kids will see people like Michael Jordan and they’ll focus on how great he was. What they won’t see, and will never see, were the days and nights spent in the gym. The countless hours of practice. Free throw after free throw. Hours spent on the basketball court perfecting his dribbling, his movement, his amazing shot. Same goes for any sports star. We’re all exposed to the highlight reels. ESPN is pretty much a highlight reel from dawn to dusk. Amazing catches, shots, and performances. But we never see the real sweat and effort. That’s where champions are made.

And it’s not just in sports. It’s really easy to look at the kids in class and see the ones who are getting straight A’s. We’ve had our fair share of them here at Hectic Manor. But they aren’t all natural students. There were lots of nights where the kids were up into the wee hours, studying material and embracing the suck. They were studying like no other. They were putting in the effort when nobody was looking so that they could get the results when people were. And more importantly, it didn’t matter that others were looking. They embraced the suck so much that they were internally motivated to work well. Sure, the grades were a measuring stick, but they weren’t the only one. Their actual mastery of the material was their motivation. And today, if you sat around our table and heard my kids discussing things that require a broad knowledge of many subjects you’d realize that they really did learn the material.

So the next time you’re thinking about starting something new, do it. Recognize that it’s going to be hard. That it’s going to take effort. And it won’t be easy. But nothing that’s worth anything is easy. You’re gonna suck, and you’re likely going to suck badly at first. Really badly. But if you stick with it, put in the time, and concentrate your effort you’re going to get good. Make sure your kids see you. Be a shining example of what it’s like to embrace the suck. Then watch how far they go!