I’m lazy. This might be the Hectic-Dad blog, but part of the reason things are so hectic for me is that I have a lazy streak a mile wide. Not quite the lay-on-the-couch-taking-a-nap kind of lazy that Dagwood from the Blondie comic has, but in the same realm. I never really idolized Dagwood or Beetle Bailey in their ability to not do things. I just didn’t do them. And I still don’t. Things pile up around me all the time. I get behind the eight-ball and then have to scramble to get things done. Try as I might, it’s a constant battle to stay on top of everything I’m supposed to be doing.

I’ve talked about my methods of attack, from Just Say Maybe to That’s Good Enough and even to Be Where You Are. All those are great strategies, and at times they work for me. But I have to employ something almost every day to battle my laziness.

Fitness is no exception. I wrote about What’s Holding You Back as much for my readers as for myself. And then didn’t do much about it. I got started, sort of. I have exercised 11 of the past 18 days. While it’s not good enough for what I want to achieve, it’s a start. But I don’t dare rest on my laurels. Or as my kids would say, rest on my ever-expanding butt. I know that if I don’t get moving more often, expressly engaging in proactive exercise that I’m going to suffer the consequences in the long run.

But that’s the problem. It’s the long run. That jelly donut is here today. The bowl of ice cream: Right in front of my face now. The midnight snack made of a weird conglomeration of leftovers…waiting for me in the fridge at this moment. In that sense, I am like Dagwood, I can throw together a sandwich from almost anything and really, truly enjoy it. And I’ll wash it down with a large glass of milk and a handful of Double Stuf Oroes. Or Nutter Butters. Or a couple chocolate brownies.

You get the idea. I like food and I’m don’t really like exercise. Sure, I like the results. I like the way that I feel when I’ve exercised. I like climbing stairs and not being out of breath. I like to be able to engage in physical activity and not have to take a rest afterwards. I like to brag about running in a 5K, 10K, or Half Marathon. I even use the term “running” when I’m in good condition. Other times, I’ll use plodding or slogging. Lately I haven’t even been up to that standard.

And it pisses me off.

But right now I’m losing to the lazy side and I’m not doing enough. So then the guilt tripping begins. And what do I do when I feel down…I eat. Old habits die hard, and this is probably the oldest habit that I have.

I’m also not fond of going to gyms to work out. While I’m a social person, I don’t relish working out in a place where there are other people. Heck, I struggle to workout in our home gym when anybody else is around. And I’m talking about family being around. I just don’t like it. But I also won’t get up at 5am to workout so that nobody sees me. So I admit it, I’ve got a problem.

We’re fortunate that we decided to build a room onto the house for our exercise equipment. We’ve got a load of stuff, and all sorts of videos to guide us. We’ve got a sound system. We’ve got two TVs to watch. It’s got great ventilation, so it is always comfortable from a temperature perspective, and the high-powered exhaust fans keep it smelling pretty great. From a location standpoint, it’s hard to argue. I get up in the morning, put me feet on the floor next to the bed, and would have a ten foot commute to a treadmill, another couple feet to the elliptical or bike, and about the same amount to weight equipment.

But I don’t do use the equipment consistently enough.

So a couple years ago we got this wild idea that we would try the P90x system produced by Beach Body Express and Tony Horton. At the time, P90x was everywhere in the media. It had been for a while, so it didn’t really seem that much like a fad. It mixed up the workouts, worked the whole body, and had different programs for different levels of fitness and interest.

We got the program and were a bit overwhelmed by the number of DVDs and options. But I did get pretty motivated. I started the program using the Lean program and discovered that there were some workouts that I loved, and some things that didn’t get as much love from me. I battled away for about half the program length. Then I had a relapse of laziness for a couple days, but managed to get back on the program. It took me 120 days to complete the entire Lean program (you know, 90 days of workouts in 120 days). I felt great. I had coupled P90x with my regular running/jogging/slogging regimen. I was even eating healthier at that point…partly because my body was cajoling me to. And all that added up to a huge increase in overall fitness. I reached my lowest weight since college. I was pretty trim, and my muscle mass had increased.

But the whole time I was hating on Tony Horton. He talked about how it took work to get where he was, and he talked about how relatively easy it was, once you reached your goal level of fitness to maintain it. That’s where I fell off the bandwagon. I got where I wanted to be, and I was putting in some work, but not enough. And then bad, lazy habits started to creep back in. In short, my hectic life caught up with me…again.

Honestly, I let my hectic life catch up with me. It became my excuse for not sticking with the plan. Not doing the work that needed to be done. And my fitness level slipped away. And I felt guilty about it. And what do I do when I feel guilty…yup, give yourself a gold star if you said “eat”.

But the good news is, I started to think about this a few weeks ago. Specifically as to why I don’t workout. A big factor is my laziness. Another reason is that I keep letting the day-to-day stuff get in the way. I find “reasons” (you know, the nice way to say “excuses”) everywhere.

Another “reason” is the optimism of Tony Horton in the P90x videos. He’s so danged positive. He’s upbeat. He’s fit. He’s successful. He’s gone after what he wanted to do and he’s gotten it done. Quite honestly, he’s one of those examples of somebody who’s easy to dislike. OK, maybe even hate. The jealousy is real. I mean stare-you-in-the-mirror real. The kind that makes you practically turn green with envy.

But why? Because he’s a lot of the things I’m not. Or at least I’m not yet. And that’s the operative term here…”yet”. There is absolutely no real reason why I haven’t achieved everything that I want to achieve. I keep thinking back to my series of Focus, Commit, Execute, and Complete. The only thing holding me back is me. Myself. I. All the folks living in my skin. Not something out there. Something inside me.

Maybe it’s fear of failure. Maybe it’s fear of success. Maybe I think I’m too old. I’m not really sure. But there is something I know. It’s time to step up. To do what needs to be done. That’s really where the entire idea behind the hectic-stuff has come from.

Over the next few weeks, other parts are going to be falling into place. I finally got www.hectic-kitchen.com online the Monday before Thanksgiving. It scared the living daylights out of me to start another new project. While Hectic-Dad has been a blog, it’s been mostly stuff I know, have thought about for ages, and have strong opinions about. It’s not been something that I’ve had to research and do all the much preparation for. Kind of like the warm-up in P90x. It’s something that you do, but you know how to do it. Just follow the easy instructions and it all works out fine.

Hectic-Kitchen is more involved. It’s going to be bigger. It’s going to take a ton more work. It’s going to take research. It’s like the actual workouts in P90x. The instructions are more general, you have to improvise a little bit, depending on your level of fitness, energy, and personality. Same thing with Hectic-Kitchen. I’m going to be working a lot harder, but the time to make it happen was now.

So, while I sometimes curse Tony Horton (on the occasions when I actually do a workout from the P90x series), I also know that I’m only cursing him because he’s farther down the road than I am. He’s seen the benefits, demonstrates the benefits, and has put in the time to get where he is and to maintain it. So while I would love to say that I hate Tony Horton. I don’t.

Simply put, he’s an inspiration to me. I actually admire him.