Last night, Colleen…our newly minted 8th grader was really worked up about school. Apparently each of the teacher’s in her seven classes had the responsibility of reviewing one section of the Student Handbook with the students. In the past, this hundred-page handbook was printed out and sent home. The expectation was that the kids and parents would read it and follow all the rules contained in it. In the continual effort to save money, the school district has opted for an online version of the handbook. The unintended consequence of this is that hardly anyone reads the handbook anymore. In a somewhat baffling move, the district also opted to produce the online version in all black text. With the paper copy, any sections that had been updated were printed in red. Because we’re a model family (HA!), as soon as the handbook would arrive home in it’s paper form, I would look through it and review the sections in red…looking for anything that might have changed that would matter to us. I’ll be honest, I scrolled through the online version this year, but we’ve had kids in the district for so long that I really didn’t feel the need to read each and every word. Based on events at the school, people either aren’t reading the handbook at all, or they’re just skimming it…like I did.

The reason for Colleen’s upset centered around changes to the dress code. Our district doesn’t have uniforms, so the compromise has been to add a few dress code strictures each year to try and curtail issues that have arisen. A few years ago they instituted a blanket ban on any slogans on clothing. If you had a slogan, you’re parents were called and they could either pick you up and take you home…earning a mark of absent for the day…or they could bring you a new, slogan-less clothing item. It didn’t matter if the slogan was “Have a Nice Day”, “Satan Rules”, or “F*ck Authority”, if you had a slogan on your clothes you were in violation of the dress code. At first this seemed like a stupid rule, but after seeing some of the shirts that were worn, I totally agree with the idea. Rather than leave the interpretation of a slogan up to a teacher, the district determined that no slogans would be allowed.

This year, both middle schools have new principals and apparently they decided to work with the district office to clarify some of the dress code rules. Once again, the goal is to take interpretation out of the equation. The rules are certainly more clear. Case in point “Form fitting/spandex-type leggings/yoga pants (such as Lululemon, Ivivva, Athleta, Hardtail or any other brand) must be covered by a top/skirt/shorts of finger-tip length”. This is an entirely new item in the dress code, and I’ll freely admit that I missed it during my skimming of the 2016-2017 handbook.

Apparently though, the teachers made a big deal out of this new item, and my dear 8th grader was fit to be tied. Her point was that having to cover up your clothing, with other clothing, was simply impractical and in our hot temperatures, patently uncomfortable. She argued that the type of clothing listed in this rule was made to be comfortable, and it was (I quote) “stupid to have to wear a shirt that reached down to your fingers”.

In her specific case, she has a great point. First off, she’s a very fit, athletic kid. She likes to dress comfortably, and for her that’s what we call active wear. She’s got a pretty good sense of fashion, and she’s a really modest kid. Almost to a fault. So the active wear that she dons isn’t stretched to it’s limits, isn’t overly revealing, and suits her body type and her style. On the other hand, many of her peers are less fit, wear clothing that is several sizes too small, and aren’t anywhere near as modest. Hectic Mom even mentioned that at the open house she was appalled at the clothing some of the kids were wearing…especially revealing and inappropriate clothing.

But the point of this rule is to blanket everyone and remove the interpretation of the rule from the teachers. Can you imagine the uproar is a teacher told one kid that her form-fitting yoga pants were inappropriate because they were too revealing while allowing others to wear their yoga pants. Talk about uproar. If your school system is anything like our there would be folks at the office of the school raising Holy Hell if their son or daughter was told to change clothes based on an interpretation that the parents didn’t agree with.

Trust me, I went through schools that had very strict dress codes and uniforms. I’m not a huge fan, since in any environment there will be people who will find a way to circumvent the rules. The same goes for our school district. There will be kids who push the limits. Heck, the dress code at my all-male high school failed to mention that pants were required. It discussed the type of pants that were unacceptable, but no more. Every year, a couple of wise-crackers would show up to school in their boxers or briefs with the rest of the dress code (collared shirt, belt, socks, and shoes) met to the letter. It was funny…and a great point. Of course, those guys spent the day in the in-school suspension room despite having earned the admiration of those of us with less creativity.

Then again, last night I had an irate 8th grader who was feeling terribly put upon. We discussed the probable reasons behind the rule. We discussed the nature of kids and the fact that sometimes they need guidelines to help them make decisions. We also discussed how it was to everyone’s advantage to take interpretation of the rules off the table…at least as much as is practical. She calmly listened to all that, then went back into her tirade about how it was unfair and stupid.

Fortunately, we’ve got a really smart kid on our hands, and when I offered that maybe she should talk to the people who made the rule and see about changing it, or at least modifying it, she was open to the idea. She doesn’t really know the new principal, so that was a bit of a stumbling block…but she definitely considered the option.

While she grumbled about the rule this morning, she pointed out that she was wearing jeans instead of the leggings that she had planned to wear. I look forward to seeing if she goes anywhere with her anger over this rule. She’s the sort of kid that will talk to others and get a movement started. While I’m not sure I want her burning her bra on the front steps of the school, I do admire the fact that she’s passionate. Even if the passion is about a dress code, I like the fact that she’s not just flying off the handle, but articulately talking about the issue and looking to do something about it.

So in a weird way, the school dress code helped me see what a great kid we’ve got on our hands!