I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a grandparent. I’m a very hands-on grandparent, considering that I provide childcare for my grandson for 12+ hours every day, 7 days a week. He and his Mom live with us, and with her crazy work schedule I get to hang-out with Hectic Grandson more than most grandparents get to do with their grand kiddos.

It’s great, and I love it.

But with great opportunity comes great responsibility. Everyone will tell you that their kids and grandkids are the smartest ones out there. We don’t question that we have bright progeny. How could we, they’re our direct descendants and they have amazing genetics, right?

Hectic Grandson is no different. He’s a bright little guy who is learning things way too fast. He is an expert at mimicry, and is making a living in the humorist department mimicking (and sometimes mocking) what we all do. He’s the light of our lives, and definitely the star of the Hectic Household show.

His cute antics are obviously echoes of the things he sees and hears around him. But so are his tantrums. Let’s face it, life isn’t always chocolate and roses. There are times when we bicker and even get into full-blown arguments. He’s a spectator to the good and the bad, and he’s learning all the different forms of social interaction. When I look into his eyes I can see the wheels turning and can tell he’s processing far more than he lets on.

That brings up the issue of how important my role is. I’m his main role model. For close to ten of the twelve hours we’re together, I’m the only person he interacts with. I’m the face that he sees when he looks up from whatever endeavor he’s gotten started on. I’m the voice that encourages him, the voice that warns him when he’s in danger, and the voice of reason when he’s about to do something naughty. My facial expressions, body language, and voice are on constant display to him. There’s no time off…and no do-overs. If he bites me on the ear and I cry out in pain…he hears that. If I tap his hand as he’s throwing his food not the floor and tell him “no”…he hears and feels that. If I clap my hands in encouragement for one of his accomplishments it goes right into his brain.

He’s learning by example, both good and bad.

Because I’m an introspective sort, and spent far too many undergraduate years as a psychology student, I’ve been considering the impact that my actions, body language, and voice have on him. To that end, I’ve been working hard to keep the messages positive. On those days when he’s out of sorts and cries at everything, I strive to keep a smile on my face and joy in my voice. I’ve discovered that it’s hard to be cross when you’ve got a smile on your face, even if the smile is a bit forced. Oddly, I’ve found that it’s easier and easier to have a positive outlook and countenance the more I’ve focused on wearing that smile. Frankly, I’m not sure which comes first, the countenance or the attitude, but it does seem to be a positive feedback loop. For the nerd in me, that’s fascinating. For the little observer who follows me everywhere, I might look like an idiot, but I look like a positive idiot. That’s what matters.

I’ve also spent a lot of time thinking about the role models that I had growing up. I had intended for this post to be about both my maternal Grandmother and my Dad, but now that I’ve gotten this far, I’ve decided that you’re going to be hearing about the two of them separately, at a later time. The important thing is that I’ve realized that the lilt of their voices, the stupid jokes and stories that they told over and over, and the glint in their eyes are the things that I remember most. They were both quick to praise, sometimes critical (in the most positive way), and had the best chuckle and grins of anybody on the planet. They’re both moved on to Heaven, and I regularly envision them sitting on a bench watching me interact with Hectic Grandson. I hope that they approve of how I’m doing. I know they sometimes shake their heads and wonder what I’m up to, but regularly I come to my senses. Occasionally I could swear that I’ve been tapped on the shoulders by angel’s wings reminding me of my responsibility and nudging me to get back on track. I take those reminders seriously!

I take comfort in the fact that I’ve got a team of advisors who were once here on Earth to provide examples and are now watching over me on a daily basis. I’ve started to tell more stories to Hectic Grandson, and lots of those stories are about my Dad and Grandmother. I’m doing what I can to take my responsibility as a caregiver and role model seriously…but I’m mixing in a dose of moxy, mischievousness, and humor. I’ve borrowed those traits directly from my Heavenly role models.

As I look at Hectic Grandson’s face as he lays sleeping peacefully next to me as I write this, I think I’m doing an OK job. I’m gonna keep working to make it an excellent job, because honestly he deserves it!

Hopefully Dad and Nonnie approve!