As I’ve mentioned, I’m the father of eight kids. Yeah, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8. I’ve been doing kid stuff in sports and schools for way, way too long with no end really in sight. I’ve been to so many school programs, PTO/PTA meetings, and sporting events that I’ve completely lost count. Pretty much everywhere I go, there’s that one parent, usually a Mom, who is so together and gets everything done on time, perfectly, with no apparent effort. You know, the one at the PTO meeting who whips out her smartphone or planner and has everything organized, nothing crossed out, and is perfectly scheduled in 15-minute increments.
Well, I’m not that person. At least I don’t think I am, although if you ask a lot of folks in my hometown they will tell you I am. I do pull out my smartphone (currently an Android running a really old version of the operating system) and check my calendar. I usually also spend a bit of time talking to the phone trying to get it to actually go to the date that I want so that I can check my availability. Then I usually try to talk it through adding an event to the right calendar so I have a slim chance of finding it later when I get back to my computer…where I’m vastly more comfortable.
I’m also not a magician who can instantly create costumes for school programs. I’m still working on my baking skills for the occasional cookies or cupcakes that need to be provided for whatever event, but with all the changes to the laws as to what can be sold at bake sales etc. that skill is not required as much. Heck, I actually remember when the schools had bake sales at the end of the day to raise money for something and you were expected to provide homemade treats. The lazy parents (ok, it was almost always the lazy Moms) were the ones that just went and bought something from the store. Honestly, for my oldest daughter’s birthday one year I bought pre-made rice krispie treats, unwrapped them, and carefully placed each one in a plastic bag. The kids loved them, and since I’m terrible at making rice krispie treats they turned out much better than anything that I could have ever concocted in that category. Thank goodness I’ve never actually told anybody about that, until now. In the mid 1990’s I would have been held up as a bad example of a parent. Today, the only thing you can take to a school is something that was made in a commercial bakery. And the items have to be individually packaged. It’s kind of sad, actually, that things have changed that much.
Anyway, back to my point…that Mom is somebody that I often wish I was. I want to be so in control that I can, with a moments notice, look at my calendar and know with 100% certainty that I can or cannot volunteer for something. It’s kind of my Holy Grail (well, at least it’s one of my Holy Grails).
But I’m realistic about my life. I know that not everything I need to know is currently available to me, no matter how much technology I throw at it. No matter how much I implore my wife and kids to update their Google calendars (which feed to my Google calendar). No matter how hard I try to record everything as it comes along.
So I have created a solution that works for me. I “just say maybe”. If I have a desire to sign-up for something and I think there is a chance I can do it, I “just say maybe”. When I’m asked, I respond “I’m pretty sure I’d like to help you out. I think I can do it. But I’m not 100% sure I can sign-up, so I’m going to give you a maybe. Not a definite maybe, just a maybe.”
I’ve even become expert at deflecting the “OK, I’m going to put you down on the list as the person who will blow up the 1,000 balloons on Saturday at 9:00 – 9:15am in the school gym”. I gently remind Mrs. I’ve-Got-It-All-Together that I may be able to be there. I then tell her that I’ll have to get back to her. Yeah, that never makes me popular, but it does keep my head from exploding when on Saturday morning I’m trying to figure out how to be at three places at the same time, including balloon-blowing-up at two different schools, 10 miles apart. Stop laughing, that actually happened to me once. This blog isn’t called Hectic-Dad for nothing!
So there’s my first tip: Just Say Maybe.
The three little words that really are the most powerful in the world. I know you thought it was “I Love You”, but really think about it. Those are great and all, but if you say those to Mrs. I’ve-Got-It-All-Together it really creates a stir in the community, and she’ll put that in her agenda as something we need to discuss at 2:45pm on Wednesday with a counselor. Don’t worry, I haven’t slipped up that badly…yet. I do wonder sometimes when it’s going to happen though. And while I admire Mrs. I’ve-Got-It-All-Together, I’m really not in love with her. I just admire her ability to structure her world and the world around her. So I’ll stick with Just Say Maybe.
Let’s try it out.
- Hectic-Dad: “So, you’ve really enjoyed my blog. You actually learned something. You were able to put that something into practice. So you’ll be reading my next blog post?”
- You: “Maybe.”
- Hectic-Dad: “What do you mean ‘maybe’. This is good stuff. A little bit of humor. Full of great examples of what the world is really like. You’ll be reading the next post, right?”
- You: “Maybe.”
- Hectic-Dad: “Please, oh please read my next post. It’s gonna be great. I’ll even make your kid’s next Halloween Costume for the school costume parade.”
- You: “Hmmm…maybe.”
- Hectic-Dad: “While I hate to admit it, you’ve learned an important lesson from me. You’ve successfully added ‘maybe’ to your vocabulary. Keep up the good work.”
So, until my next post, try to Just Say Maybe a couple of times. Who knows, I may be writing another post sooner than I thought.
Maybe.
