As a parent of multiple athletes, I spend a lot of time in the stands and on the sidelines at sporting events. Many of those events span multiple hours, and some even consume entire days. Or two days. Or three. No matter what the nature of the sport, if we’re at some sort of event for up to three days, there is going to be a lot of time when the kids aren’t competing. I know that I should be productive during that downtime, but honestly, I do enjoy talking to the other parents. It’s one of the few times when I get to have social interaction. Since I work from home, and I’m home alone much of the time, I do sometimes crave adult conversation with something other than my computer…or cats.

So I’ve spent the last few weekends hanging out with an eclectic group of parents from a couple of different teams. Most of us would never have crossed paths if our kids weren’t in sports together. It’s funny how that works. Some of the nicest people I know would never have entered my life if my kids weren’t sharing a sport with their kids. For that serendipity I’m forever grateful.

There are even some folks who come to the events who no longer have kids participating. There are specifically two families that continue to come to the High School wrestling tournaments, even though their sons have graduated and gone on to college. And these particular folks are a hoot.

Today, I got to spend the better part of the day with one of those Dads. Our sons were co-captains on the wrestling team last year. That created something of a bond between us as Dad’s of successful young men, not just young athletes, but leaders. Our boys look totally different, but their mannerisms and maturity and great sportsmanship put them into a class above the average wrestler. Or the average athlete. Well, frankly, above the average person. While I love to crow about my kids, it’s amazing how this particular Dad crows about my kid. In fact, he’s like a second father to my eldest son, and he’s working his way into that role with my younger son. He’s actually been to more of the tournament matches this year than I have. And he’s been the best on-the-scene reporter for me when I’m doing the hectic thing and spectating at one of my other kids’ sporting events.

I’ve known him since our sons played on the same soccer team in 5th and 6th grade respectively. I was the coach of that team, and I had a blast with those boys. We’ve crossed paths through football, wrestling, and even track over the years. But honestly, we’ve never really talked all that much about our lives. Sure, we’ve talked sports. We’ve talked about our kids. We’ve even talked some about our wives (but don’t tell them or we’ll both be in the doghouse). But we’ve never really talked about anything that matters.

Today was different though. We peeled away a couple of extra layers and delved into some pretty heady topics. We talked about what it’s like to raise kids in today’s society. We talked about our hopes and dreams for our kids. We actually crowed about each other’s kids. And I realized that there really are other people out there who think like I do.

We both talked about being tough on our kids, but trying to make sure they knew they were loved. We talked about setting expectations, but also how we struggle to make sure that our kids are clear about the expectations. We even discussed how well our kids have done despite our inability to parent as effectively as we’d like to.

Oddly, we didn’t really talk about work. We didn’t talk about our jobs, or our careers, or any of the more superficial stuff that often gets talked about in those sorts of venues. As the day wore on, another family joined out conversation. That brought additional layers. I have a rough idea of what the Mom and Dad do for a living, but it really didn’t matter. We were talking about being parents. We were talking about loving on our kids, but expecting tons of them. We talked about how so much of sports is psychological, and how we struggle to help our kids through the rough days. And we talked about not over-celebrating the successes.

Tomorrow I’ll be splitting my time between two wrestling tournaments. My younger son will be wrestling 45 minutes to the Northwest of our home town, and my older son will be finishing up their tournament 75 minutes to the Southeast. I’ll start out closer to home, and then drive the two hours to see the other tournament. The group of parents at the first tournament are some folks I don’t know as well as the Varsity parents. There are a few that I know on a very superficial level, but I’m really looking forward to getting to know several of them better. Then I’ll finish up my day with some folks who I’ve had a great time with for the past four to six years. We’ve still got a few more tournaments before the wrestling season is done, and honestly I’m hoping to solidify those friendships so that we can continue them after this season comes to a close.

It’s funny, but I have a really strong bond with these folks. I’ve never really thought about it before, but we’re all cut from the same cloth. Sure we’re different shapes and sizes, we’ve followed different paths through life, and we have very disparate interests. But when you put all of that aside, they are really cool people.

I’m really glad that I’ve gotten to know these folks, and I look forward to hanging out in the future…but maybe in more comfortable seating.