I got one of those heart-wrenching texts today from my oldest son. He was at school and had gone to weight lifting for his first hour. As always, he changed clothes and put everything into his football locker. He didn’t have a lock today. I didn’t realize that he didn’t have one this year…it’s just one of those things that slipped through the cracks when the school year started.

The text reported that he had $56 of his very hard-earned dollars stolen out of his wallet, in the football locker room, from his assigned and private football locker. It’s not the first time that something has been stolen out of a supposedly secure locker room. In the past year the kids have lost a new pair of running shoes, a new pair of practice shoes, a brand new iPod touch, two wallets, a pair of football shoulder pads (yeah, that one surprised me too, but the fact that my son’s jersey number was etched into the pads apparently wasn’t evidence enough), a football helmet, and several other smaller items. You’d think the kids would’ve learned to lock everything up…but they’re a trusting bunch.

My son was ticked off in his text to me. He not only felt violated, as all victims of theft feel…but he was especially disturbed by the fact that the only people allowed in that locker room are football players.

If you’ve ever been part of a team, especially a football team, you know that it’s like family. Sure there are disagreements and differences of opinion. There are even some jerks, but it’s a family. A group that looks out for each other, takes pride in the group’s achievements, and shows mutual respect.

The thug who stole the money had no honor. And where there is no honor, there is no respect. A little part of me died when I realized that some of my son’s trust in society was eroded today.

It’s so hard to teach the kids that doing the right thing, staying out of trouble, being respectful, and generally being great people and citizens is worth it when things like this happen.

It’s unfortunate that our young people have so many models of this type of behavior. Professional athletes and entertainers are regularly showing disrespect for society yet end up with zero consequences. There are too many examples of this disrespectful behavior from the college ranks and now extending down to the high schools. A culture is evolving where athletes are being given a free pass, with many coaches making allowances for these dysfunctional behaviors. We’re reading about high school athletes and recent graduates who have been arrested for one thing or another. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of coaches who expect the best from their athletes, and they get it. But when the star of the team is arrested for assault and battery, but still plays in the big game that weekend…something is wrong. What message does that send to the other kids? If you’re good enough in your sport your other actions don’t matter?

Actions have consequences. That’s the lesson that should be out there…but too often it’s not. In fact, the opposite seems to be the norm nowadays.

When somebody does something wrong, they should face those consequences. If things are swept under the rug, then nobody learns anything positive. The only message that we send is that it’s OK to do wrong.

I’m not willing to accept that. I expect a higher standard. I drill it into my kids. They break the rules at home, they suffer consequences. They break the rules of society, they will not only suffer the societal consequences, but I’m not going to come running to their aid and defend their actions. I might, and the operative word there is “might”, consider bailing them out in the literal sense…after they’ve spent some time where they will learn there are consequences. But I’m pretty sure they know that in addition to any societal consequences they will face, they will also face consequences at home.

Thankfully, we’ve never had to test that system, but I’m fully prepared to be a really tough Dad. Things may be hectic around here, but I’m not going to let that ball drop. I’ve got some stellar examples of parents who made really difficult choices. The dad who pulled his allstar son off the football team mid-season for societal misconduct. The mom who ended the career of a really great ballplayer because the young athlete just couldn’t follow the law. Folks like that are great examples of how to do what’s right, despite what society seems to be saying. And trust me, those two parents, from separate families, in separate towns took a lot of heat for ensuring that their kids grew up into amazing adults. Thankfully, their kids did learn their lesson and both are model citizens who would make anyone proud.

I really want to believe that the world is fair and just. I want to believe that people, especially kids, are inherently good and decent. I want to believe the best in folks. While the theft of $56 from a locker room is a relatively small matter in the world, it’s something that concerns me on a local level. We can only change the world one person at a time, and my son learned that people are not to be trusted. That’s a tough lesson to learn. A stolen iPod here, a stolen pair of shoes there, pretty soon it adds up to a pattern that needs to be stopped.

It’s those examples that rock my faith, not just in the perpetrators, but in the rest of the system that lets these things slide by without consequences. I think we need to step back and carefully assess what we’re trying to teach. What kind of people do we want them to become?

This blog post started out on Facebook, when I put a very condensed version of this out there in the heat of the moment. I’m not apologizing, Facebook is a great way to get feedback and interact with people on a real-time basis. Looking over the names of the people who liked and commented on my rant gives me hope. They are the positive examples of parents who really do care about how their kids are growing up. I know that lots of us are out there doing our best, but it’s an uphill battle. It shouldn’t be that way.

So I’m speaking out. Not just in this blog, but I’m going to continue on Facebook. I’m going to talk about it at the football games. There is the danger that I’m going to be viewed as “that guy” who just doesn’t understand how hard it is to be a kid today. Fine, I’m willing to wear that label.

I’m tired of sitting quietly on the sidelines and having crap happen to my kids and my family. Or frankly, to other kids and their families. We need to set an example for our kids that will help them mature and grow into the fine young people they should have the opportunity to become.

It’s time for everybody who is fed up with this kind of garbage to make a loud enough noise that the thugs and criminals and low life folks in our communities realize that the vast majority of people are good and decent and we won’t put up with this anymore.

I’m tired of worrying that I’m going to offend somebody, or stuff is going to hit the fan because I made a truthful statement about the deterioration of the standards and expectations of the kids on a high school sports team. If the coaches want to take it out on my kid, I’m very happy to go toe-to-toe with them. I’m fed up…can you tell?

So think about it. If you think I’m offbase, let me know. If you agree with me, let me know. But more importantly, let your kids know where you stand. We have the opportunity, no…the responsibility…to guide our kids. Frankly, they deserve that from us.

Get out there and help them out, it’s a tough world out there and they need every bit of support we can provide!